Do You Need To Wear Separate Wedding & Engagement Rings?

by Michelle Elkins

The idea of having separate wedding engagement rings is a fairly recent phenomenon in the overall history of marriage. Originally just the one ring would have been used to signify betrothal which would have been moved onto the ring finger at the point of communion. As engagement periods have become longer though, up to several years in some cases, couples have sought out a way of expressing their union to the rest of the world before they can actually say they are man and wife.

With this increase in waiting time, it has become etiquette that the wedding band is only worn for the first time during the ceremony itself so that it retains its' special significance. It is also true that these bands are traditionally plain so an engagement ring gives men in particular a chance to show their partners how much they are valued by purchasing a ring that is significantly more dazzling. Consequently it also gives women an opportunity to sparkle and produces a universally recognised symbol of commitment long before the relationship is recognised in law.

Much of the delay between the proposal and the actual wedding these days is down to matters of finance and logistics. People are spending more on weddings then ever before with the average overall cost for 2008 coming in at a lofty £22,858. With so much money involved it is no wonder that it takes longer because everything is expected to be perfect. However this prolonged engagement was originally due to Pope Innocent II. In 1215 he decreed that: "Marriages are to be . . . announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time, so that if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known." This is now an integral part of the marriage ceremony itself

How does the concept of separate rings relate to men though? Previously few men wore wedding rings let alone a wedding engagement ring, but the trend is changing. In an era where most men worked manually in often incredibly difficult circumstances and where jewellery was considered to emasculate them, the atmosphere was not conducive to it. However, today as the gender gaps lessens and women want to return the compliment it is becoming more commonplace.

The desire for men to wear wedding rings really took off during World War II, when soldiers wore them as a tribute to the wives they were leaving behind. Now as more and more famous male personalities and Hollywood stars are pictured sporting a range of jewellery from diamond studs through to a designer platinum engagement ring, it is becoming fashionable for men to have rings of their own.